Letter to My Parents
For my parents -
When I type "parent" into my laptop search engine, then press enter, "parent connection login" will pop up, asking me for the username and password that conceals my grades. If I type "parent" into the search bar above my cell phone texts, the most recent message is "…your parents would have texted you if you'd gotten the (ACT) letter?" However, these indications are in fact the opposite of my perception of parents. I have never felt my parents' excessive involvement in my schoolwork or pressure from them to do well on standardized tests. Rather, school is the place where I am tested without my parents. It is the building of separation. It is the place where I alone am in control of the outcome; consequently, school is a place of happiness for me. In both myself and my peers, I have noticed that there is often increased happiness when a child is away from parents. This is not a result of dislike for parents, as is often misinterpreted, but is a function of the a child's desire to prove themselves…by themselves.
Yesterday afternoon, Nathan suggested that people are inherently happy; his idea that a human's "neutral" is contentment challenged David Foster Wallace's analysis of the human default setting as being self-absorbed and depressed. Yet, Nathan agreed with Wallace's assessment of the typical perspective of modern human beings; he compared people to flowers, wilting now due to the weighing down of stressors and negative stimuli. Rationally, no person wants to buy a wilted flower or live a sagging life; however, humans are competitive by nature and often see their accomplishments as more magnificent when they have a low point with which to contrast their high. The greater the contrast, the greater the act of overcoming and the greater the value of the human. Thus, people subconsciously desire suffering. They rally around and share their own negativity in order to make themselves feel contrast - feel strong.
At school, most students are encountered with similar struggles: insurmountable workloads, nagging teachers, and an entire gym mile. It is at home that students are able to experience the suffering that is more unique to them and their own family situation; it is when a student can feel that they overcome more than any other of their peers…that they, with their subconsciously gnawing competitive human nature, win. Similarly, parents desire to compete with and struggle more than their coworkers…or friends…or themselves at a younger stage...or more than their own parents did a generation ago. At home, when people have the opportunity to create suffering, human perspective sometimes shifts to make that small family fight be remembered as a significant low point: proof that there is something to be overcome, contrast with the inevitable later harmony that will make one feel strong. Everyone does it.
I am not saying that hardships are nonexistent. I also do not mean that every situation at home is twisted by brilliant human minds to be that negative, nefarious mass of critique, strung together by weak, distorted efforts to make oneself feel strong; but these occasional masses...like the one clogging up the drain...or the one smothered between neglected bedsheets in the room where the bookshelf covers the heating vent…do exist.
I believe that humans could unravel many of the masses if they weren't so aware that life is beautiful and that their natural default setting is contentment. Humans seize the suffering when it arises because they are subconsciously afraid that they will not experience low points after this one right now; they do not know when they will have another opportunity to prove themselves. However, I am confident that suffering is always attainable. I am positive that a life situation can at any point be viewed with negativity and worthlessness. If such is desired, humans will always have an opportunity to overcome suffering and create artificial strength. The list of available perspectives is consistent.
Mom and Dad, we have all let our competitive natures rupture moments of excitement and harmony. I have written before of my respect for the consistency of rivers, and I think we all forget that our home is solely a merging of personal streams. Pebbles on our river bottom can always be seen as massive boulders, so there is no need to view them that way right now. Let us stop using our home as our contrast field of deceiving, wilting flowers. Let us replace our present attachment to imbalance.
When I type "parent" into my laptop search engine, then press enter, "parent connection login" will pop up, asking me for the username and password that conceals my grades. If I type "parent" into the search bar above my cell phone texts, the most recent message is "…your parents would have texted you if you'd gotten the (ACT) letter?" However, these indications are in fact the opposite of my perception of parents. I have never felt my parents' excessive involvement in my schoolwork or pressure from them to do well on standardized tests. Rather, school is the place where I am tested without my parents. It is the building of separation. It is the place where I alone am in control of the outcome; consequently, school is a place of happiness for me. In both myself and my peers, I have noticed that there is often increased happiness when a child is away from parents. This is not a result of dislike for parents, as is often misinterpreted, but is a function of the a child's desire to prove themselves…by themselves.
Yesterday afternoon, Nathan suggested that people are inherently happy; his idea that a human's "neutral" is contentment challenged David Foster Wallace's analysis of the human default setting as being self-absorbed and depressed. Yet, Nathan agreed with Wallace's assessment of the typical perspective of modern human beings; he compared people to flowers, wilting now due to the weighing down of stressors and negative stimuli. Rationally, no person wants to buy a wilted flower or live a sagging life; however, humans are competitive by nature and often see their accomplishments as more magnificent when they have a low point with which to contrast their high. The greater the contrast, the greater the act of overcoming and the greater the value of the human. Thus, people subconsciously desire suffering. They rally around and share their own negativity in order to make themselves feel contrast - feel strong.
At school, most students are encountered with similar struggles: insurmountable workloads, nagging teachers, and an entire gym mile. It is at home that students are able to experience the suffering that is more unique to them and their own family situation; it is when a student can feel that they overcome more than any other of their peers…that they, with their subconsciously gnawing competitive human nature, win. Similarly, parents desire to compete with and struggle more than their coworkers…or friends…or themselves at a younger stage...or more than their own parents did a generation ago. At home, when people have the opportunity to create suffering, human perspective sometimes shifts to make that small family fight be remembered as a significant low point: proof that there is something to be overcome, contrast with the inevitable later harmony that will make one feel strong. Everyone does it.
I am not saying that hardships are nonexistent. I also do not mean that every situation at home is twisted by brilliant human minds to be that negative, nefarious mass of critique, strung together by weak, distorted efforts to make oneself feel strong; but these occasional masses...like the one clogging up the drain...or the one smothered between neglected bedsheets in the room where the bookshelf covers the heating vent…do exist.
I believe that humans could unravel many of the masses if they weren't so aware that life is beautiful and that their natural default setting is contentment. Humans seize the suffering when it arises because they are subconsciously afraid that they will not experience low points after this one right now; they do not know when they will have another opportunity to prove themselves. However, I am confident that suffering is always attainable. I am positive that a life situation can at any point be viewed with negativity and worthlessness. If such is desired, humans will always have an opportunity to overcome suffering and create artificial strength. The list of available perspectives is consistent.
Mom and Dad, we have all let our competitive natures rupture moments of excitement and harmony. I have written before of my respect for the consistency of rivers, and I think we all forget that our home is solely a merging of personal streams. Pebbles on our river bottom can always be seen as massive boulders, so there is no need to view them that way right now. Let us stop using our home as our contrast field of deceiving, wilting flowers. Let us replace our present attachment to imbalance.
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